12 Days of (Irrational?) Visions – How to Lengthen the Penis (or if that’s too squeamish, Biomodification)

18 Dec

Over the course of the next 12 days I’ll be posting 12 future thinking concepts and applying the same methods I’ve been practicing with the various Ted Talks.  Why?  Cause it’s freakin fun and pointless, that’s why!

Day Four – How to Lengthen the Penis (or if you want -> Human body modifications and where is it going?)

Aha, when one says they’ll talk about anything, NOTHING is taboo.  (There’s quite a few ‘crazy’ topics that I’d like to examine, but haven’t figured out how to approach them without sounding.. wacky.)

We’ve all seen the advertisements, they might be on the side panels of Facebook or its when you open your email browser and see the hundreds of pages of spam.  It’s there when you make the mistake of searching for X men movies.  (Just kidding, that doesn’t happen)

Nothing is certain on the internet, except for slow download speeds and penis enhancement ads.

(Actually, maybe I’m thinking about those Cialis ads.  Aw screw it, I already typed out the title and there’s no turning back.)

Question number one – Is this possible?

Let’s say we saw an ad that read “How to lengthen your right arm”, would that be believable?  It’s something that one can scoff at quite easily.  Yet the only possible reason why so many advertisements exist, is that there is a market for such a thing.

Putting aside the human desire portion, is there a realistic goal?  (As a side note, human desire allows for ‘quick rich’ scams and ‘gamble for profit’ strategies to exist, so its very safe to say that we are willing to put our minds into a suspension of disbelief)

So it’s got to be garbage right?

However, if you’ve ever looked at a national geographic, you might have seen the below.  Seriously, if I were to play charades, people might be associate the two enough to make the connection.

Women with really LONG necks.

Now it shows that the neck stretching is actually an illusion and it’s the compression of the shoulders into the rib cage that create the appearance of a long neck.

Likewise, IF there was some tribe out there where the men wore rings, around their knob, in some life long penis stretching tradition, there probably would be thousands of cameras hovering around this village.  Not so sure if it would be on the cover of National Geographic though.

I would name this village ‘Tentpolia’.

However, this is not attempting to stretch out a spine.  Perhaps its more like stretching an earlobe?

Earlobe stretching, has become a trend in some circles and you may have seen it yourself.

(I can tell already that Youtube is going to be a source of information, you might want to turn DOWN your volume)

I’m not going to include any graphics for the penis (although I’m certain everyone is mature enough to withstand looking an image) but rather go into the breakdown of similarities with the two concepts above.

Stretching the Neck / Ear lobes -> they both have blood vessels, skin, props to add to the visual effect

Forgot to mention, the use of multiple rings adds to the illusion of a stretched neck.  Likewise the types of piercings used in stretched earlobes also add to the illusion of how much the lobes have been stretched out.

The human ear lobe is composed of areolar and adipose connective tissue (fancy names for ‘flickable’)

The penis, is made of three columns of tissue: two corpora cavernosa tissues and one corpus spongiosum that lies between them.

Spongiosum..  the jokes just write themselves.

Now in reference to the human earlobe, stretching the earlobe does pretty much nothing.  The ear lobe isn’t a flexing organ, people aren’t actively shaking it at other people, or using it to stir their coffee.  Come to think of it, no one should use any appendage or organ to stir their coffee.

On the other hand, the penis has a couple functions.  What happens if these tissues involved were to accidentally become damaged?

Damage to the Spongiosum, can occur during sex, over enthusiastic penis exercises (more on this in a second) and whenever you accidentally take a baseball bat to the erection (or equivalent).  I believe that last example is from day time talk shows named, “I caught my partner cheatin’ and I beat his ass’.

This kind of damage changes the overall ‘shape’ where the you got your compass pointing North / South / East / West / the Direction that is kept secret.

Damage to the carvernosa tissues, usually carries the symptom of the inability to gain an erection.  The reason for this is less clear, as it involves impulses from the brain and local nerves to relax and allow blood to flow in and ‘take up space’.

(Just a reminder, if you have any of the above issues, go talk to a doctor or specialist.  Internet delving is great for fun, but people spend years studying and that should always be respected.)

There is a saying, “I’ve got a grow-er not a show-er.” and multiple re-arrangements of the term.  “I’ve got a show-er and a grow-er / got a show-er but not a grow-er etc etc”.  The reason for this is because, for humans, the penis is a split % ‘out’ of the body and a % ‘in’ the body.  The % balance changes on a case by case basis and is partly why there is variance; some look like they have an oak tree swinging while others have more of a timid bird.  The % of in/out can change depending on various conditions such as fat around the area, genetics and environment (such as temperature).

*Drops pants*

Her: *looks dissapointed* : “I really can’t stay.”

Him: “But baby, it was Cold OUTSIDE.”

Her: “Sure it was.”

So it is quite clear, that damage to these areas is quite terrifying.  Nonetheless, it gives us a starting point to see where these possible snake oil salesmen (or miracle workers) is trying to take us when selling their product or service.

From what I can see, there are 4 main methods.

Surgery – Phalloplasty, effectively changing the %’s of how much ‘in’ the penis is, so it more ‘out’.  (approximately 2.5 to 5 cm change)

Links to Surgery all seem to point to specific doctors/labs and some incredibly unappealing papers that decided to use pictures.  Trust me, we’re good here.

Drugs – Interestingly enough, when searching for the specific phrase ‘longer’, most drugs only imply a change to sex drive/stamina/hardness but I’m having a difficult time finding any that will quote specifically ‘larger’.  By this manner, it implies that is a form of drug that will affect the carnernosa tissue.

2014 top reviews apparently exist.

Just as interesting, half of the ingredients I recognize are found in the same drugs that ‘enhance memory’.  Ginkgo Bolba, Panax Ginseng, a bunch of berry extracts.  It makes some sense, both attic and basement work off of blood flow.

Exercises – in the neck stretching and the ear lobe stretching above, they are both achieved by ‘physical exercise’ in addition with use of a device (eg> piercing).  There appears to be a multitude of exercises that one can view online.

Even keeping it to Youtube, this is way more graphic than I would have expected.

There are generally two kinds of exercises that can be performed.  Men’s Kegel exercises (aka pelvic floor) which assists with incontinence and premature ejaculation / erectile dysfunction.  For a quick description of what a Kegel exercise is, it is the muscles used when you urinate.  You can mentally contract those babies and strengthen them.

The other kind, I believe is the one that has lead some to injury.  Wow there are a lot of videos on both Kegal / hand exercises..

Y’know what, go into Youtube and type ‘Penis exercise’ into the search bar and a couple.. thousand videos will appear.

Devices – Austin Powers!

Woah, there are a multitude of devices out there.  As an interesting side note, whenever I saw an article/comment which read “doesn’t work”, it usually applied to Devices.  Now this could be user error, unhappy reviews or cross war commenting, but it’s something to take note of.

There are.. many.. why…  (I’m so sick of this topic already lol).. Screw it, here’s a link to the 2014 best of list.

Obviously, as it is using a much more ‘direct’ approach to the concept, the possibility of damage due to ‘enthusiasm’ is a definite possibility.  On the other hand, much like a person hoping to lose weight through exercise, some enthusiasm is required.

Now although this topic may have covered one of the more ‘popular’ biomodifications which exist.  There is a trend for much more high tech biomodifications that extend beyond just human stretches.

Electronic Tattoos :

Inserting Chips that can read Biometric data:

Eye Tattoos (inking the white of the eyeball), cropping of the nose, drilling holes into the body, are some examples of some extreme body modifications.  In this realm it appears we are looking at lifestyle design as opposed to a physical change.

And in case you want to know some trivia, the record for the largest penis to body ratio belongs to the Barnacle.  It’s penis can grow up to 40 times the size of its own body length.  So if that schmuck at the bar is all a bragging, you can drop the mic by demanding to know “Does it grow 40 times the size of your BODY!?!  I don’t think so.”

I went extreme on the topic tonight.  Fact is, there are millions of people who struggle with body issues/identification.  There are countless diets about fat, options for breast enlargements/reductions, looking younger, finding that perfect state where you have ‘a touch of gray’ in the hair.  All these things exist because we are judged by our peers and we fear the outcome of that judgement.

Or we wish to attract a result.  In any case, it is very clear to me that this is something that will never go away.

That is, until we perfect the virtual world.  More on that, another night.


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Posted by on December 18, 2014 in Uncategorized


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